Sleep to Dream
Yesterday I had to force myself to bring out my glass and snap a couple shots of myself. My fog was thick, and it seemed almost hard to move. The end of the year is near, and I can't help but be terrified of what's next. I want to do so much, and don't know how to narrow things down to what I can do right now.
So, I turned on the projector and put shots of places I would love to be - This pattern above is my bedding at my parents house, in my old room. I also shot with a scene I saw while on my friend Wade's balcony while we were enjoying each other's company. Scenes of Paris and Florence made an appearance to, along with some covers of my old sketch books.
What's hard about this series the limitations I am having with an actual set. All I have is myself, a camera on a timer, and a flat surface behind me. There isn't much interaction, or ideas as to what I am capturing while I sit in my make believe space, so I start to get slightly uncomfortable with just a wall to support my scene. I don't want to rely on photoshop for all my enhancements, so this all seems a little foreign. Regardless, it helped me stay calm for a little bit.
While editing, Fiona Apple started humming in my mind, creating this in response - Love these lyrics, I don't sleep to dream. Oh dreams, you rumble my insides. People who I no longer have contact with come stumbling through them, a stampede of loss storms behind my eyes and tears apart the scene.
Sleep to rest? No, not this lady.