Things have been a bit crazy. Abundant, actually. Looking back from the last blog post on here: I do not recognize myself. For I have taken on my life, invited others to join me, as well as have continued my journey of self discovery in this vast World of ours. Gratitude fills my eyes as I let the awareness of growth settle in my bones: for the leaps I have taken, the walls I have torn down, and for the people who have and continue to grace my life... I am grateful.
Looking at my own website, I see that it no longer represents me. I have let my paradise of pixels fall off my own radar. There is work I have created that came from a raw place within me - ideas that make my eyes glisten - shows and opportunities that I have taken on - people who have touched, moved and inspired me - experiences that has rewired my head as well as my heart - my world turned itself over to shake out the dust. Looks like I get to do the same here.
I get to look back and document the most profound 84 days of my life (Hell the last year and a half) : For that journey has ended. As always, the end is just the beginning of another adventure.
Explaining this journey I have taken... Is a task within itself - Being something that I could speak about forever. A journey that I can't seem to let go of : For the value of it is indescribable and the length of time I want to have this work in my heart... is forever.
In technical terms, it is a leadership journey that I took a year and a half ago when I felt stuck. It is an experiential process, where each break through that you have is something you can feel within you - being able to see what really comes up for you. Subjects of fear, what stops you, how you show up, where you choose from, why you aren't where you wish to be/doing/having in your life, as well as your relationships with people. It is a detoxifying, evolutionary and an elevation of self. The most beautiful part of the whole entire process, is that everyone has a different experience, different breakthroughs, yet you come together as one team.
After going through it yourself, if selected you get to staff the workshops and become a coach. A daunting task that I wasn't sure I would ever be able to make. This last time through, I staffed from the first workshop all the way through to their graduation of the program. Being a coach let me see myself at a new elevation, give me the ability to stand for people, as well as find my own power, worth, independence, commitment and courage. I got to step into the fire - walk through it - dance in it - fall on my face to get up stronger - and get to the other side to look back and say "Holy shit, look at what I created for myself".
Seems the Universe is a silly fella, for my life was hitting a very big wall. The whole process supported me in taking my own leaps while empowering others to take leaps in their own life. I look back at what I created in 80 days and gasp at the results: I stepped into independence emotionally, became a single woman who wasn't on the search for the next affirmation that I am beautiful, got in touch with my worthiness and spirituality to where I could feel it within me, landed a job at Inked Magazine as their Photo Editor, I moved to Brooklyn and re-created my home, created beautiful relationships with my team of coaches as well as the participants, started to write again, created things with a lightness to it, had an art show and sold personal mixed media work, reached a whole new level of vulnerability, gratitude and power... I could go on...
When it comes down to it, the most rewarding part of all of it is that I got to stand as a power of example for the team to take the same leaps in every avenue of their life. I look at each and every person, and I have nothing but gratitude and love for them. If you would have asked me a year and a half ago what my life would look like now, hell 80 days ago... I wouldn't have thought that this would be it. It's full. It's abundant. It's love. It's light. I'm grateful.
From this I have found my light within. I have found my ability to guide others towards their own light, and to chase it. I am able to give and receive love. Oh, how big I found out my heart is. Everything that I held back on previous to this work - is vast within me. My love, vulnerability, voice and power are some of the golden nuggets that I always used to say "I wish"... It was always there, I was just not accessing it.
With all of this growth, new work has started to come out of me. Yes, I still have my darkness - for darkness is a beautiful thing that brings fuel. Yet, there is light through the dark - for each dark moment leads to light again. The evolution of the light through the dark, to constantly chasing the light seems to be where my words lead, what my drawings are screaming, and how my photography is evolving. Exciting time to keep expand on this creatively... to actually share it, and put it out into the universe.
For now, I wish to leave you with a poem that I wrote for this past group of people that I got to coach. They took it, and created a beautiful rendition of what this is all about. For you am I, I am you, and we are one. Introducing... LJ22, formally known as Love Pi:
With Sparks O' Light